In some real way I’ve lived my life backwards. Struggling with mortality and meaning in my teen years in a way that most aren’t forced to confront until their later years. I went from poor health to better health, the opposite of most. This has given me a unique perspective on life, death, suffering, and interpersonal struggle. Having to dive into the depth of what matters most at a very young age has created in me a comfort with emotions at depth. I am incredibly comfortable talking about pain, brokenness, despair, etc. The realm of real depth, pain, meaning, and purpose are where I am most comfortable.

Untangling the complexities of the human emotional experience and helping people break out of old patterns that keep showing up in new ways. I love getting to know and understand my clients in order to help them see these old patterns and coping strategies that are tripping them up.

I have come to learn that it takes a network of people and activities to really have the balance we all long for. There isn’t any one or two people, or even any one or two practices, that can keep us emotionally well in the way we want to be. Of course it is not spread out evenly. My wife is far more important to my overall well-being than the buddy I talk football with occasionally, but in some real way, I really need both in my life. All that to say – I don’t think I have a simple answer to this question. There are many practices and people that contribute in a meaningful way.

Shame and internal criticism, broken family dynamics, relational intimacy, anxiety, life transition, suffering, and acute crisis management are my areas of interest and expertise. That said, I find that many, if not most of my clients are dealing with shame and internal criticism when they come into counseling, whether they realize it or not. There is a faux-holiness to beating ourselves up. In Christian spaces many are rightly taught not to judge others, but judging yourself is fair game. This can often be the birth of an unhelpful critical voice. It may ‘feel’ holy to put yourself down, but at its core it is contradicting God and what He has said about you.

First off – I’m just not a huge resource guy. Although many are very helpful – I find people are so individually unique, that I much prefer joining them in an effort to better understand themselves, as opposed to working to understand “their type.” That said, when I do recommend books – it is more often on the clinical side. Many of my clients have read much the spiritual, but have not seen much on even the most basic concepts of family dynamics or what shapes us as humans, etc. One of my favorites in that realm is “Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents” by Lindsay C. Gibson.

I never know how to answer this question. In a home, how do you integrate the cinder blocks that make up the foundation, and the 2×4’s that construct the walls of your house into your house? You know?

Raising my two teen daughters is a real joy for me. My wife loved the baby/kid stage – I love this stage (see answer above about how I like emotional complexities.) I also coach girls’ basketball, enjoy traveling, and eating out, campfires, and singing (poorly) in the shower.

Very much so… The dual organ transplant would certainly fall into that category among other things.

I have realized that in some small way, I enjoy stress and really difficult challenges more than I like peace and ease. In a sense I am more comfortable in suffering than I am in the midst of ease and relaxation. It sounds counterintuitive – however comfort is just what you are used to. My life was so challenging for the first forty years, that in some way I became more used to – or comfortable – in the suffering, than I was in the relative abundance and ease that came later. My personal journey over the past 9 years is learning to love the stillness and peace of life just as much as the difficulty.